There's so much more

Hey World! I am so in love with Ryan!

Everyone tells me it's just his looks, but it's so much more.

Every time I talk to him, my heart goes craziiii

He's funny, and thoughtful, and just perfect, and so sweet you wouldn't believe it.

He's dedicated to the band, and to his family (even his little brother), and to me

I sleep with my cell phone on the night stand, just next to my bed, and every morning, he wakes me with his call. We lie in bed, and yawn, and I giggle, and we talk, and for just a moment, I can believe he's there with me.

He's one of those guys where your favorite class is the only one you have with him, and when I see him in the hallway, and he smiles at me, omg, it's like I melt...

I love you, Ryan!

Don't Blame Me

Well, we have a name for the band. Candy read my opening journal entry down there, and fell in love with the idea of going on my "dark journey." So she's been campaigning for the name dark journey. Ryan and Austin got on board immediately. Well, Austin maybe more immediately than Ryan, but Austin's kind of dark anyway. (Don't lie, Austin. You are. You know it. lol). Trey and Bethany were kinda "eh," over it, but when Brody came to practice today, and said he'd thought about it last night, and it was starting to make sense to him, and maybe he could write a song about it, well, of course, Bethany's going to follow Brody's lead, so... (meow!).

But, anyway...See, I'm not so sure about it. We're not really...dark, like blackest night dark, you know? We're more kinda like, love songs, and sad songs, and poignant stuff, like, life can be dark, but it can be good, too, you know? That kinda stuff? But, it's pretty much 5-2, so probably dark journey, we'll be. Candy even wants me to go back to that first post and capitalize the Dark Journey, so it'll look like I was foreshadowning all along. But I don't even want to capitalize the name of the band in its real "band" name. I think lower case says it, says where we are. We're still growing. I'm still growing. I don't know how tall I'm gonna be yet, or how high I can reach. I'm not a...not a capital, yet, I guess. So, I'm breakin' all the rules of grammar. What can I say? I'm a rebel.

There's something about Miranda...

Rumors are so stupid. It started in AP English.

For those of you that don't know, I go to North Hillridge. Lizzie and I have AP English second period. We had a test, and I finished it, so I put my pencil down and look up, and Lizzie's looking at me. So I just *mwah* blew her a little kiss, and she returned it. It's like, no big deal, guys. We do that stuff all the time.

So then we're at lunch, and Gordo says, "I think you have a fan club." He notices that these sophomore boys sitting two tables away keep looking at me, and huddling together and whispering, and then sneaking peaks back at me. So of course, I check to make sure my bra strap hasn't fallen off my shoulder, and I ask Lizzie if there's something on my face.

And then these two seniors, Mallory and Madison, walk past our table carrying their lunch trays, looking straight at me and raising their eyebrows.

You see what's happening, right?

As I'm entering Biology with CJ, Liam (he's a cute Swedish exchange student) comes up to us and says, "Is it true that you're lesbisk?" (I guess Swedes can be pretty blunt that way).

CJ was like, "what?"

So I put my arm around her waist and said to Liam, "You got a problem with that?"

CJ just gawked, and Liam stammered, "No, I think is nice?"

I smiled and said, "Is nice."

So by the end of the day, half the school had heard that I was a lesbian, and that Lizzie was probably lesbian, too, because she ate lunch with me. Gordo, too.

So it was weird. I tried to make fun of the situation, but it really wasn't that funny, you know? I mean, I think attitudes at our school are pretty relaxed when it comes to all the orientation stuff, but next time, the rumor might be about something that goes too far. It's just weird, how people are so quick to believe something, something that doesn't really make sense.

I mean, Hello! I have a boyfriend!

I'm straight LIAM!

Okay, I'm gonna try this thing.

We're now a model family for cable internet! Goodbye, AOL! I'll miss you!

No I won't.

So the speed of my internet is...inCREDible. I can actually listen to music. Like real music. Not that bing-bing-boop stuff.

Now here's the deal: if anybody else signs up for this and gives them my name (well, my dad's name, but whatever), we get 10% off for the next three months. Oh, and if you hit them up, ask for James to install. He was cool. He set us up with some gadgets that not everyone gets.

And the best thing about putting AOL in my rear view mirrow is that I can finally have a blog that looks the way I want.

So, anyway. Well, check out the profile page. My name is Miranda, as you can probably tell. I'm 16. I like to sing, and I can play several instruments. I'm trained in violin, and taught myself guitar and keyboard.

And I soooo want to learn sax, cause I think it's awesome.

Oh, okay. So.

I want this to be a journal. A journal of a journey. I've always had a dream of starting my own band one day, and some friends and I have been kind of half-ass jamming for a couple of months. But then, get this, my parents saw how much I've been putting into this, and they gave me this awesome set-up for Christmas, a mixing board, and Peaveys, pro mikes and lavaliers, and everything. It costs tons (they had been thinking about getting me a new car, to give you a clue), so I better not disappoint them, huh?

Sorry. I don't usually ramble like this. Okay, maybe a little.

Anyway, I think I want this to record my thoughts and feelings as I struggle (yeah, I know it's going to be a struggle at first) for the first few months. I think it'll help me get my **** together, which should help me with the songs I want to write. And I'd like for you guys to be here, with me, on my dark journey.

Do you like me?